Originally published on July 29, 2025.
It seems to me that life - professional and personal - places a lot of emphasis on determination, grit, and perseverance as markers of or necessary prerequisites to success. Certainly, I would have to say that this is not just something I have learned in my professional career. There has been a significant infusion of this perspective through how I was raised by my family and educated in/through the school system: 'If you are challenged, step up to the challenge'; 'If you are frustrated, dig into the task at hand'; 'No pain, no gain.'
No doubt there is value in creating and sticking to a plan of action otherwise we might find ourselves flitting from one admirable, but difficult, cause to another at the first sign of resistance. However, going from that extreme to the polar opposite on a continuum, which could mean stubbornly adhering to a course of action, doggedly holding to a perspective, or perhaps even failing to truly evaluate or challenge closely held values can - in my experience - lead to significant damage to oneself, a team, or an organization.
In a past blog, I noted some insights gained from undertaking a Core Strengths(c) assessment which highlighted some of my very laudable strengths: supportive, loyal, and persevering. In essence, when I succeed, I use these strengths to the benefit of myself and those I work, live, or otherwise engage with. Unfortunately, when I start to face challenges or resistance, I historically have doubled down on these very same strengths which then turns these positive attributes into a series of self-defeating and destructive tendencies: self-sacrificing, gullible, and stubborn.
There has been some extraordinarily hard learning in my career and personal endeavours that have shown me how my best strengths can also be my Achilles heel. What have I tried to take away from those experiences that might be beneficial to your current or future challenges?
First, I would say that you need to intentionally and purposefully create space for yourself to listen to and feel what is happening for/to you in your current circumstances. In my own "hitting the brick wall" moments, it was clear that I had failed to appreciate all of the warning signs that had been there for some time, at the very outset of the initiative, and I tried to persevere through for many months if not years. What might have helped in critically evaluating whether extra effort was warranted versus a rethink of my commitment would have been dedicated/scheduled time to pause, a commitment to engage in a mindful evaluation of the cost/benefit of the engagement, and then developing the next purposeful steps in my work.
Second, the above notion only achieves its full potential if we are strongly connected to - and fully appreciate - what our core values are, where our strengths lie, and who our allies/detractors might be in a particular set of circumstances. If you have not developed or articulated your core foundational elements (both personally and professionally), you won't have a strong enough base to critically evaluate the alignment or misalignment of your actions. Through my coaching and consulting practice I often see individuals and organizations grapple with this when they are forced to transition through, and into, a new reality; e.g., forced job/career change, seemingly dramatic changes in environmental variables, need to terminate a CEO or other senior executive, etc. It is often through these involuntary changes in reality that individuals and organizations start to question everything they've been doing to this point in time and find their core values and assumptions challenged.
Third, at a personal level, it helps to have some outside eyes and perspectives to support your assessment (and even development) of reality, core beliefs, values, and strategies. What makes this exercise or network most valuable is how trust-based the relationship is. Do your allies (family, friends, mentors, colleagues, coaches) sincerely have your best interests at heart? Do you trust their perspectives? What is the history of you being able to rely on these outside perspectives to tell you the hard truths? No doubt, getting pushed to see things as they are versus how you would like or hope them to can be a hard pill to swallow. Perhaps in the moment of being challenged you have a gut level - and decidedly negative - reaction to having your perspective or even core beliefs shattered. But it is the mirror or new lens from others that is critical to your success - and happiness - that also likely reinforces what you already know but haven't wanted to face.
Paying attention to our anxiety, fears, and gut isn't easy. Lord knows that I have "stuck to it" in a few too many things, where if I had paid attention to the red flags of my commitment, I wouldn't have done as much damage to myself as was the ultimate result. Hope can be one of the challenges to seeing things as they are. Pride plays a factor too if we have to admit to ourselves and others that we have made a mistake in our choices.
I would just ask you to pay attention to what is giving you energy and whether something or someone is taking more energy than you are receiving back. As the saying goes, "Don't keep throwing good money after bad". Take your lumps, cut your losses. Grit and determination aren't always the right course of action. And despite all, you will take some lessons from an effort cut short. Above all, if something feels heavy, perhaps that's a sign to just put that burden down. Leadership is often about hard choices, shifting direction, and reinvesting your valuable time and energy elsewhere.
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Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC
President & Founder, BreakPoint Solutions
gregh@breakpoint.solutions
www.breakpoint.solutions
780-918-0009